Leading with Love

One of the tenets of our business is to lead with love. To us, this means allowing love to guide our decisions and practices rather than fear. All too often, fear can be the motivator for action in life and in business – fear of failure, of loss, of disappointing someone – but we are doing our best to try to let love guide us on this journey. It’s not easy, as I am in constant fear of our business failing, losing our childhood home, disappointing our family, or tarnishing our father’s legacy. We just finished the biggest and hardest project of my life, The Woodward, and are about to move on to an even bigger and harder project, Sunshine Springs Farm, our childhood home. The stakes are higher, and I’ve never been more scared. But when I put the fear in the backseat, and let love lead, I have never been more excited. The thought of sharing our childhood home with the community and the possibility of using our land to make change is the motivation we need for this next chapter.

A photo of Sunshine Springs Farm from the 1940s digitally embellished by Caroline

Acknowledgement of privilege

We entered into this business with a small portfolio of historic homes that had been collected by our father over the years. He was a lover of history, tradition, and old houses. The farm where we grew up was spotted from up on a hill by our mom and dad in the 1980s. It was abandoned and cattle grazed amongst the house and barns. The story is that Dad found the ranch owner through land records and reached out asking to purchase the house and barns with 20 acres. This was a tiny dent in the large cattle operation’s land, so they agreed. The house was a disaster and needed many repairs and restoration, but Dad worked on it with every free minute he had and continued to do so even after our family moved in. He purchased the Victorian (now known as The Woodward) in the 1990s as a derelict property to fix up so he could provide safe and affordable housing for a friend.

We knew right out of the gate in 2021 that we were the recipients of very generous gifts and heaps of privilege. My first instinct was to feel guilty about these gifts and unworthy of them, but the more we thought about it, the more we thought maybe we can take these properties and do something really good with them – something that would be for more than just us. We were not sure exactly what we wanted to do ultimately, but time was not on our side as two of the properties were in such disrepair that we needed to get started right away with our restorations and figure out the rest as time went on.

The privilege our father passed on to us came with some heavy burdens, but it is privilege nonetheless. Privilege doesn’t mean you didn’t work hard or struggle, or that everything is easy. It simply means you have some advantages and there aren’t things outside of your control actively working to hinder you and your success.

An inherited mess

Most of you know that we lost our father to lung cancer in 2021, but what you may not know is that Meredith and I have grieved the loss of our father for the majority of our lives. First to depression, then to alcoholism, and ultimately to cancer. Our dad was a brilliant and talented man, but was haunted by demons we cannot even begin to understand. He was a wonderful father, but we were always kept at arm's length, never fully understanding his struggles, and the arm only got longer as the years passed. He was able to keep his collection of properties running beautifully for years all by himself, but as his mental state declined, the properties declined with him and he became more and more isolated. He was too proud to accept help from anyone, and wouldn’t even let people come over when things had gotten out of hand, including his own daughters. It all got exponentially worse when the pandemic hit, and in attempts to keep him safe, we allowed him to keep us at a distance. We had no idea how bad things had gotten. When we finally forced our way back in, we were greeted with piles of unpaid bills, deteriorating properties, and a sinking suspicion that something was terribly wrong with our father. 

Moving forward with love

As we shift our focus to our farm, we can't help but be haunted by the memories of the pain that lingers there, but love reminds us that there are far more good memories than bad. In addition to inheriting properties, I inherited my own struggle with depression, and have a tendency to isolate when things get tough. But I also love visiting the farm when things get tough. I love sitting in the sun, listening to the spring flowing and birds singing, exploring the wild spaces, remembering all the good times, and envisioning good times to come. Nature is medicine; the farm is a tapestry of wild and tamed land. I am scared that we could lose our farm – to nature, to neglect, or to the bank – but I love the thought of pouring our hearts into it and seeing what we get. Fear closes us off, whereas love opens us up – opens us up to possibilities and futures that we maybe hadn’t even considered or dreamed of. I look forward to being led by love in this next chapter – love for our community, love for the earth, and love for the possibility of what is yet to come.